wishlist :>:>:>

1. a puppy or two bunnies
2. a crumpler bag (preferably red or grey)
3. new pair of havis (gerald pls!!!!)
4. topshop/dorothy perkins/miss selfridge/f21/zara/river island vouchers!!!!
5. at least 2 As and Bs for a levels :( :( :(
6. more dresses, shirts, skirts
7. LONGER HAIR NOWWWW
8. a dark brown sling bag, like rui en's kind in by your side
9. to go on a holiday
10. ipod nano? or i phone
11. chanel makeup (HAHA)
12. more totes!
13. polaroid camera or anything type of camera!! 
14. wii
15. a flute
16. adidas jacket 
17. celebrate my bday with my tkgs frens, ICRY, school frens, family, wx!!!

 
to be continued :)

whee gonna do another birthday post. it's for another super special person and although it's super late. i'm sure he dun mind!! :)


HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY WEIXING!!!!!!!

i know the pics that i've chosen look really funny=P but he looks darn good in the last pic rite?! anyways the 2nd pic was taken in swensons at his birthday last year. i rmb planning a tedious birthday surprise with jermyn and had to force him and his frens to come down to swensons to celebrate!! :) :) it was pretty fun and tiring asking them but it was darn worth it. he guessed that ill plan sth though :( SPOILER! haha really wanted to plan sth this year but wx kept telling me to not plan due to A's =(( haiz As spoils EVERYTHING! but hee it's ending=))

ok shall stop digressing and start focusing on WX!! haha

no one understands me like you do
no one go the extra mile for me like you do
no one tolerates me like you do
no one cares for me like you do
no one sacrifice for me like you do

i think a million thank yous is not enough. ure more than a zillion thanks man. words cannot express how thankful i am to the Lord for meeting you. ure one of the best things in my life! and i mean in from the bottom of my heart. i think ure the sweetest boy any girl hopes for and yes i am lucky and blessed to know you. i really pray that we will know each other till we die, and to continue supporting each other spiritually, mentally and physically. i am also sorry for all the hurts and troubles i have caused. i think i'm the devil and ure an angel la seriously. i feel so remorseful now :( i really hope we will know each other forever!!! and although things will never be the same, i hope that you will never change. yup heh =)


so ya, happy blessed belated birthday =)) [i look so fat beside u]

As are ending!! not gonna comment about how the papers are but i'm going to have absolute faith in the Lord :) yupzz. everyone's turning 18... and it's going to be my turn omg omg omg omg =((((( I REALLY DUN WANT TO GROW OLD. dun even want to reach the big 2-0 =(((((((( haiz this sucks! but i want birthday presents LOL =))) i really love presentsss!!! haha hint hint hint :)


i think watever that i have went thru the last few weeks really changed me. i thank you guys for molding me into a stronger girl although that wasnt your intention to do so=) ill not be affected by lil things like that anymore and instead let things go. i'm going to let many things, many people go and not hold onto them anymore. it's too tiring hoping for a miracle. but i'm going to have more faith in God than men(men literally hur). owells

 gonna blog to release stress. not only school related stress but other sort of stress too =(((((( sucks to quarrel with ppl who mean alot to you. even if... OK NVM =((( haha anyways

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY WELZL VALENTIN XIN WEI(BFF)!!!

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

haha initially planned a birthday surprise long long nong nong time ago. but i was jus too PLAIN LAZY to get along with it. so i felt quite bad since i'm his so called bff (HAHA) and ill be super bad if i dun do anything on his bday rite?! haha so i quickly msged a few jus hours before the real thing and asked if they could make it. luckily john and yanting could!! of cos la HINT HINT  haha nvm=) anyways john and yanting were late!!! darn it's like a taste of my own medicine. so i went to buy ALL the party stuffs first. i was so darn excited okaY!! i love surprises to the very max seriously :) jus love watching people smile at my surprises HAHA. so i gai gai at tmart i wanted to buy many party stuffs la but i know they wont appreciate my enthusiasm as me :( HAHA so i jus bought 4 party hats and relighting candles!! and cake and donuts :D arent i such a good best fren?! LOL i shall stop praising myself. met john and waited for yanting for ONE FREAKING HOUR!!! haha thank goodness we're nice people if not ill eat you up!!! =P kidding i know im like that or worse too. haha. i think my plan to trick him or bluff him to coming down worked damn well?!!? HAHA i'm so brilliant.

ok here are some pictures for u to admire my face :) kidding i mean everyone's!! 




we pushed him down the pool!! again and again :) SUPER FUN. actually i dun mind swimming if i brought clothes. DARN! had to bluff them that i cant swim =P but i dun have any certs in swimming?!?! hahah. and how come i'm the 2nd wettest besides him hah?!?! STUPID VAL!!! kill u for wetting me and only me like crazy! =P haha but thanks for the clothes =))

anyways we went up his house and celebrate with his family later on. it was super heartwarming and nice =) and played wii! mum said she wanna buy wii. dunno true or not. or bluff me one again =P hahahhah

ok anyways to one and only bff valentin:

happy 18 bday! haha finally ure older than me again :P and i'm the youngest woo!!! haha. hope u had a fun time yesterday yeah. thanks for being there with me every single time since 2008. i know we drifted apart this year, than got close again but we jus cannot sit or walk around together everywhere like last year =( really miss those stupid moments that we shared! ure the only person or guy in school who is willing to do stupid things with me like walking around the track and taking pics LOL, cutting hair together, playing catching or see who can reach the venue faster, playing hide and seek, piggyback race, silly shoping trips etc etc. bet u've forgotten some! heh. although we fight like every single day since last year, and we had frequent cold wars now and then, u really mean alot to me deep deep deep down in my heart and i pray that we will be best frens forever seroiusly! i want to attend yr future wedding and be yr best woman. HAHA! i dunno why we kept quarrelling  everyday like non stop. it was funny at first but when it gets seroius... =(  ill have this thought of losing you? haha. and i know u did alot for me this year which i cannot disclose =) i really appreciate every single thing u have done even though i seemed nonchalent sometimes. but i do care okay! ok i know ure angry at me now (again) HAHA cheer up soon birthday boy!


=))))))))))

OOPS URE 18 LE!!! (hurry go for older girls ar)

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can't i have the best of both worlds? 

=(

 

i love my family :) :) :)

jus today, my mum gave me a hug before setting off to work. yes she works on saturdays, not like other tai tai mums who gets to rest on weekends but my mum does not! gotta respect my mum man :) yes she gave me a hug and asked me to study hard. mind u we're not a family who give each other hugs so yeah this was kinda a rare moment. really appreciate it esp cos we used to quarrel alot. lyk really alot until it can get pretty serious? wx and bff would know. but nontheless our relationship got alot better this year not becos of me but cos she gives in to me ALOT now. really alot. and sometimes i get really upset cos i can't make her proud or happy due to my lousy results. and worse still my stinky attitude she has to put up with everyday. sometimes i really hate myself for toturing her. she really works super hard to pay my tuition fees etc etc all by herself and it really pains me seeing her work like that. i wish i were smarter more hardworking and i really want to get good results FOR HER. shes really the best mum in the world and if u know me, i dun show my emotions at all at home. cos it really shows my mum that i'm weak and i dun want that... havent cried in front of her for ages. but it doesnt matter. jus hope that she can feel the ultimate love i have for her :( despite having a cold heart on the outside. haiz getting emotional :(

also pray that my dad would stop * cos it's detrimental for his health. it really hurts me seeing him * today from above. i really pray that the Lord would continue to bless this family and keep this family safe physically and financially. and pray that ill get good results. yeah. hmmms 

  

hehe. this was taken at the toilet of the hotel which fann wong had her wedding at!! don't i look elegant =)) heh

ok. it's happening. my stressed mood is getting into my nerves. it's giving me mood weird swings. and it happened in school today :( was hoping no one wld ever see this side of me but no, it jus had to happen today. ugh i hate it when i get so depressed and all when i'm in school cos i can do NOTHING about it. i hate to let frens see this weaker side of me. it's worse when they dun even care. i think? heh sucks to be me now. i think only wx seen this side of me. and i like to leave it that way!! sometimes i think he is one of my most sincere fren... i think hes the only one. sometimes i think i love my frens more than they do. or i care more than i should. sadded =( nvm. it's not the time to think about all this frenshipxxx stuffs and all. gonna leave it all until after As! hardcore mood now. so dun annoy me!!! heh. i'm kidding. i think :( 

STRESSED STRESSED STRESSED

sorry if i ever sound mad and all at you. i really dun mean it. A levels is hitting. me. hard. ON MY FACE!!! anyways think i scared afew people today. even quarrelled with bff a little. haha i love our quarrels. cos we fight due to stupid reasons. which brings us closer everytime?? heh BEST FRENS wat, wat you expect! frenship isn't a smooth sailing ship. but i appreciate those who makes the effort to make our frenship a good one =)) and stupid ben was scaring me with all the trees and all!! btw his mum said.... HAHA shall not say here :) :) actually i do have great frens la. jus that i dun realise it sometimes. or maybe i expect too much. which is often the case... but frens expect alot from eachother rite? 


[ignore the ever so freaky POBE]


by the way. the three different chocs were given by my frens!!! :) :) heh quite awhile ago. hmms quite recently actually XD haha cinderella by bff (ten bucks okay!!!) and he finally told me he bought it after we argued. so it was quite funny. but kinda touched that we bought it and put it into my bag secretly even when he was broke!! it's kinda sad that A levels are making us really stressed and all =( haha ferrero roches were from ben's MUM!! not ben himself but owells. haha. his mum is super nice!!! serious. and lastly the hersheys cookies&cream choc was from wx!! love it cos it's my fav choc of all time =)) i love it ttm!! THANKS GUYS heh heh =)) more chocs are welcome!! haha

i hope my birthday this year will be a special one spent with special people. like ICRY, tkgs frens(DO YALL RMB ME!!!), church(???), family of course and wx, bff and his gay fren and all... ANYONE!! hmms this is not a hint. i jus wanna have a good day with you guys and girls =))) and no more studying pls

so ull understand if i dun talk as much in school anymore =( heh

 
 
 
 

haha me and my 2 precious shaker fries. being a treasurer is TOUGH.... the last time i'm collecting will be the hardest :< helpp!!


ok if u dun wanna puke or get grosed out or anything dun scroll down...


SEROIUSLY



hehe :>:>:>

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HAHA OMG !!! TOLD U NOT TO SEE LE !! :> :> 


can u feel the stress??

 today, i walked home alone and thought about many other things. one thing was why do i have to hide from them. the other, results. another, relationships and so on.. sacrifice. many people sacrifice for the ones they love or to their closest people and feel happy about it. but why am i not feeling that way? why am i apparently helping them, creating opportunities yet deep down, i'm actually rather sad about it. why is my mind so fickle? why do i change emotions and feelings every single time? i'm tired of my own feelings, and it's affecting others. many a times i have been asking myself to stop it. stop feeling this way or that way, yet i cant. the more i try to be less *, the more * i become. i try to be happy for people, but the more upset i am inside, with a huge smile on the outside. i asked myself how many true frens i have, yet i can count it with only one hand. even those deemed as true frens, do not seem to care at times that i stop trying. results are depressing, and i can only blame myself as usual as i'm so darn lazy. cant help but rmbing the times yt and i talk about how bad we feel towards mummy as she pays for our tuition and is so understanding abt our results yet we still do so... haiz. i dun think u can feel how we feel. the sadness cannot be put into words. cannot help feeling demoralised as my best fren kept topping the class for every subject. i dun even dare to tell him my marks, i dun want him to look down on me, i dun want to let him think i'm stupid. also, i have been hurting wx, i dunno how to stop. i thought by doing this will help but it doesn't.. i seroiusly dunnno wat else can i do. and his results are improving tremendously, and i'm not.  i know i can score well for A levels, it's jus the matter of how much i want it. oh Lord help, my mind is in a mess, help me sort it out? :( :(



gong zhu

maybe it's time to let go

 

happy birthday sarah and valerie! heh they seriously look very young here... and i dun think i look THAT young when i was p6/sec one. ok anyways i think i kinda screwed up yesterday's lesson? i prepared it one hour before the actual thing and obviously i wasn't prepared at all >< hmms really learnt a valuable lesson.. i felt so helpless and i can feel micain looking at me helplessly. sorry! heh its really different compared to leading a sec 2 cell that time with crystal :) :) we did so much better than! cos we were well prepared and rehearsed it. i guess preparation does make a difference man. thank You Lord for waking me up on that note heh.



HAHA my kids! ben and many s13 guys spotted them that very day... hmmms. 

in a very slack mood now. shall post my wishlist soon HAHA :> can't wait for As to end. wait, it's ending already rite!!

oh ya. felt that i was quite bad posting that post yesterday. i mean... aiya you wont get wat i mean :) gonna live with a clear conscience :> :> so yeah the post gonna be private!! heh heh dun think many read it anyways ^^